Project New Year – Day 54, 55, and 56 – Ryan Out

This may not be the post you were expecting to see from me, but here it goes. Seems to be a trend that I don’t blog on the weekends. Lots of stuff happens on the weekends and I just don’t seem to get to it. This weekend it has been especially tough to swallow. Friday I was thankfully busy with the kids and their school activities. They are so awesome! Since I had a Time Trial on Saturday the kids stayed with my parents. My parents and the kids always seem to enjoy their time together. I had some conditioning to take care of, so it all worked out. The time trial went well. Somehow I set a personal best even though I hadn’t eaten anything but Shakeology since Thursday night (2 Shakes on Friday and one Saturday morning before the race). Emotionally I am a wreck. Financially I am nonexistent. But physically somehow I am enduring even though I know at some point if I keep going like this, surely that will fail as well. Even though it may not seem like it on the surface or through my Facebook feed, I have been avoiding something for a while. I have not been taking care of me and there is nothing of me left to give. I am tapped out. I am sorry if I am letting anyone down but I need to stop this charade. I am not happy. I am not doing well.

And I am done putting on that facade. I had every intention of taking this thing through 120 Days and I may very well complete it, but if I do, I am going to do it for me and no one else as it should be. Life is hard. Being a dad is hard. Being a good ex-husband is hard. Being a significant-other is hard. Success is hard. Getting in shape is hard. Staying in shape is hard. Eating healthy is hard. Being accountable is hard. If you can do it and you really want it, anything is possible. But if you don’t take care of yourself and do the things you need to do to provide a stable foundation for yourself and for the people you love and care about, it can all come crumbling down when the balance gets too far off. Unfortunately, sometimes that crash comes a bit too late and everything you have worked for is suddenly gone or just out of reach. I guess that is where I am right now. Starting over from the beginning.

I apologize to everyone I have let down over the past few years. I thought I was doing what I needed to be doing but apparently that was not the case. I don’t blame any of you for jumping ship, not doing the things I may have asked you to do, or even not wanting to be involved in what I was so excited about sharing with you. I get it. I mean the stuff I do really does work. Health and Fitness wise I have never been in better shape. Mentally and Financially I was never ready to let it work as it has worked for so many of my friends and mentors. And that is where I have failed so many of the people who were closest to me. I am somewhere underneath all of the rubble and it is time to start digging my way out.

I am going to take some time away. Not exactly sure what that means yet, but it is my intention to come back strong and ready to help those people that are ready to accept my help and do what it takes to get to where they want to be. I am not giving up. I know it is possible. We just have to be ready to make it happen for ourselves without any reservations. So for now this is my last blog post. I wish you all the Happiest of Holidays and a Wonderful New Year! I hope to see you on the other side……good journey!

Training:
Friday, November 21, 2014 – Weigh-in: 173
P90X2 X2 Shoulders + Arms and X2 Ab Ripper and X2 Yoga
Saturday, November 22, 2014 – Weigh-in: 170
12.9 Mile Time Trial and Foam Rolling Recovery
Sunday, November 23, 2014 – Weigh-in: 168
P90X2 X2 Recovery + Mobility

Supplements:
ShakeologyBeachbody WheyBeachbody Fuel ShotSlimming FormulaCordastraEnergy and Endurance FormulaP90X Results & Recovery Formula

Cheers to making the right choices!

Where to start? Today marks 31 days until the 2014 Ironman Lake Tahoe. Up until today I have been visualizing this race. I have swam the 2.4 miles in my head so many times that I have lost count. I have cycled the 112 miles so much that I know how amazing it is going to feel to get my butt off that saddle. But for some reason I have never been able to visualize running the 26.2 miles and finishing this true testament to intestinal fortitude. I thought that maybe its because after 22 years I still have a mental block from hyperextending my knee 3 Days before my College Running Career was able to start and began the dark spiral into my subsequent deep depression. But alas, it seems as if I am not supposed to finish the race this year. You see, I have been fighting my spine and neck misalignment for a long time which up until October of 2013 was still functional. As this misalignment started to worsen I started to feel pulling in my hamstring, uncontrollable headaches, and significant lower back pain. It began to affect my performance in races but I continued to ignore the warning signs and pushed through out of sheer Ego. I was not going to admit that I was broken. I didn’t work this hard to get back in shape after so many years of being unhealthy to have it all undone by some silly s-curve in my back and a neck without and curve. It just wasn’t going to happen. I was getting ready to turn 40 and I needed to do something to prove that I was ready to tackle a monumental task. The IRONMAN Lake Tahoe. I mean really, I can totally do this, right? So I found this awesome cause in ZERO – The End of Prostate Cancer and I set out to raise the money to do my part. Unfortunately my spinal condition got worse, my training suffered, and to top it off I think with my bike wreck a couple months ago aggravated everything. My condition went down hill really quick. I sought out the Physical Therapy it was going to take to put me back together at Neck And Back Integrative Medicine. Started the rehab and quickly found that this is not going to be the slam dunk I was expecting. Over the last month I have been through some crazy decompression and manipulation, trigger point injections, and chiropractic adjustments. Along with this realignment and introducing curvature back into my neck I have been trying to get back into training, but I am finding that with this realignment comes a need for patience and a dose of reality. I WILL NOT be able to complete the Ironman with my current level of fitness. Heck, I can barely ride 36 miles without getting a spasm in my back at this point. So it is with great humility that I put Ego aside (getting good at this lately) and respectfully withdraw from the 2014 Ironman Lake Tahoe 140.6 and look forward to 2015 to tackle this beast.

Zero and I appreciate all of those who have donated to finding a cure for prostate cancer and funding programs to help those who are in need. There are so many worth while causes out there and the fact that you had supported me in this cause is truly a blessing. Please know that your donation was not made in vain. I will be working with Zero over the next year to raise money for this noble cause and I look forward to our partnership as we work to raise awareness for this disease which affects so many people that are near and dear to our lives.

I have not determined whether or not I will be attempting to salvage some part of this opportunity to race in such an amazing venue (Lake Tahoe). If so, it would be at the Half Ironman distance which is still a great challenge for me at this point in my recovery. I’ll be talking with the doctor’s over this next week to determine if this is feasible or not.

Thank you again to all of you who have been following my journey towards fulfilling this goal. You are all very special to me. I only hope that I will be able to do you all proud and eventually cross that line carrying the names of the many who have suffered and continue to suffer to this day with Prostate Cancer.

Until then, I will continue to plug along and help as many people as possible reach their personal goals. You are the ones that matter to me. Its so much easier when we help each other. Through your success we all become stronger! Let’s keep going in the right direction! Cheers to making the right choices!

Rushing Things Can Be Foolish

This past week was a rough one. I finished my 9th Physical Therapy treatment to remove the s-curve from my back as well as to replace the natural cervical curvature to my neck. The therapy is aggressive and has been painful at times. Now that the spine is being manipulated and trained back to its intended posture, my left shoulder weakness (or scar tissue) has been rearing its ugly head. I guess that my spine had moved to compensate for my left shoulder after its injury, subsequent surgery, and 4 months of excruciating physical therapy. Now that spine is being forced to abandon that compensation, and it is forcing the shoulder to release, the tendons, ligaments, and muscles are lengthening and I am knotting up. Spasms suck. So needless to say, this has not been easy. Lidocaine shots into trigger points has been all but daily occurrence in an effort to get these spasms to release. I have been foam rolling with the Rumbleroller using a trigger point ball to work on these areas too. I know that when I was doing Yoga in P90X and X2 I always felt better and stronger in basically everything. I have to believe that it was because I was more flexible. So on that note, in an effort to become more flexible I have started playing with PiYo and have decided to run through the whole program starting tomorrow!

Monday, August 4, 2014
Weigh-in:  171
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Lunch: Italian Meats Submarine Sandwich
Recovery: Physical Therapy and Chiropractic Adjustment
Dinner: Pasta, Salad, and Steak
Snack: 4 Sea Salted Chocolate Caramels
Workout PiYo Align – The Fundamentals

Not such a healthy day of eating, but so happy I pushed play this evening! The fundamental video really stretched me out!
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Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Morning Weigh-in:  171
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Recovery: Physical Therapy and Chiropractic Adjustment
Lunch: Tacos and a Burrito
Dinner: Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
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Wednesday August 6, 2014
Morning Weigh-in:  172
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Lunch: Salad with Chicken
Recovery: Physical Therapy and Chiropractic Adjustment
Workout: PiYo: Define Lower added AcidCheck Granules and Pink Himalayan Salt to Water
Post-Workout: P90X Results & Recovery Formula
Dinner: Fajitas Chips and Salsa
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Thursday August 7, 2014
Morning Weigh-in:  171
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Lunch: Salad with Chicken
Recovery: Physical Therapy and Chiropractic Adjustment
Workout: PiYo: Define Upper added AcidCheck Granules and Pink Himalayan Salt to Water
Post-Workout: P90X Results & Recovery Formula
Dinner: Sushi and a Blizzard

Starting to feel better. But now that the majority of my body is in good shape, the things that are trouble spots have amplified pain. Step in the right direction though!
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Friday, August 8, 2014
Weigh-in:  172
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Lunch: Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Recovery: Physical Therapy and Chiropractic Adjustment
Dinner: Pepperoni Pizza
Snack: A handful of Almonds and a Lime Popsicle
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Saturday August 9, 2014
Morning Weigh-in:  171
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Lunch: 1/2 Turkey and Guacamole Sandwich
Workout: Swimming on Bowswim 20 Minutes added AcidCheck Granules and Pink Himalayan Salt to Water
Post-Workout: P90X Results & Recovery Formula
Dinner: Chicken Fajita Tacos, Guacamole and Chips
Snack: A handful of Almonds and a Lime Popsicle
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Sunday August 10, 2014
Morning Weigh-in:  170
Breakfast: 2 – Activit2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Shakeology with Vanilla Whey
Lunch: 1/2 Turkey and Guacamole Sandwich
Pre-Workout: Energy and Endurance Formula
Workout: Swimming on Bowswim 15 Minutes, PiYo: Define Lower, and Cycling 20.5 Miles added AcidCheck Granules and Pink Himalayan Salt to Water
Post-Workout: P90X Results & Recovery Formula
Dinner: Brown Rice, Black Bean, Guacamole, and Pico De Gallo Burrito
Snack: A handful of Almonds and a Lime Popsicle
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