Project New Year – Day 54, 55, and 56 – Ryan Out

This may not be the post you were expecting to see from me, but here it goes. Seems to be a trend that I don’t blog on the weekends. Lots of stuff happens on the weekends and I just don’t seem to get to it. This weekend it has been especially tough to swallow. Friday I was thankfully busy with the kids and their school activities. They are so awesome! Since I had a Time Trial on Saturday the kids stayed with my parents. My parents and the kids always seem to enjoy their time together. I had some conditioning to take care of, so it all worked out. The time trial went well. Somehow I set a personal best even though I hadn’t eaten anything but Shakeology since Thursday night (2 Shakes on Friday and one Saturday morning before the race). Emotionally I am a wreck. Financially I am nonexistent. But physically somehow I am enduring even though I know at some point if I keep going like this, surely that will fail as well. Even though it may not seem like it on the surface or through my Facebook feed, I have been avoiding something for a while. I have not been taking care of me and there is nothing of me left to give. I am tapped out. I am sorry if I am letting anyone down but I need to stop this charade. I am not happy. I am not doing well.

And I am done putting on that facade. I had every intention of taking this thing through 120 Days and I may very well complete it, but if I do, I am going to do it for me and no one else as it should be. Life is hard. Being a dad is hard. Being a good ex-husband is hard. Being a significant-other is hard. Success is hard. Getting in shape is hard. Staying in shape is hard. Eating healthy is hard. Being accountable is hard. If you can do it and you really want it, anything is possible. But if you don’t take care of yourself and do the things you need to do to provide a stable foundation for yourself and for the people you love and care about, it can all come crumbling down when the balance gets too far off. Unfortunately, sometimes that crash comes a bit too late and everything you have worked for is suddenly gone or just out of reach. I guess that is where I am right now. Starting over from the beginning.

I apologize to everyone I have let down over the past few years. I thought I was doing what I needed to be doing but apparently that was not the case. I don’t blame any of you for jumping ship, not doing the things I may have asked you to do, or even not wanting to be involved in what I was so excited about sharing with you. I get it. I mean the stuff I do really does work. Health and Fitness wise I have never been in better shape. Mentally and Financially I was never ready to let it work as it has worked for so many of my friends and mentors. And that is where I have failed so many of the people who were closest to me. I am somewhere underneath all of the rubble and it is time to start digging my way out.

I am going to take some time away. Not exactly sure what that means yet, but it is my intention to come back strong and ready to help those people that are ready to accept my help and do what it takes to get to where they want to be. I am not giving up. I know it is possible. We just have to be ready to make it happen for ourselves without any reservations. So for now this is my last blog post. I wish you all the Happiest of Holidays and a Wonderful New Year! I hope to see you on the other side……good journey!

Training:
Friday, November 21, 2014 – Weigh-in: 173
P90X2 X2 Shoulders + Arms and X2 Ab Ripper and X2 Yoga
Saturday, November 22, 2014 – Weigh-in: 170
12.9 Mile Time Trial and Foam Rolling Recovery
Sunday, November 23, 2014 – Weigh-in: 168
P90X2 X2 Recovery + Mobility

Supplements:
ShakeologyBeachbody WheyBeachbody Fuel ShotSlimming FormulaCordastraEnergy and Endurance FormulaP90X Results & Recovery Formula

Two Years. Too Long.

I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like the news I was going to get today regarding my neck and my back. Everything feels off and the nausea from the headaches has been getting worse. The tightness in my back wont release even with foam rolling. It is as if my muscles have finally revolted against my skeletal system and said we are tired of holding you together! Well here is the result of my x-rays:
2014-07-25 12.23.22 2014-07-25 12.13.30
Looks like waiting two years to address the issue was too long.

Time to put humpty-dumpty back together again in time for Ironman Lake Tahoe! Looking forward to getting back into the groove with the P90X Library (P90X, P90X2, and P90X3) too!

 

Morning Weigh-in:  168
Breakfast: 2 – Activit, 2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey and Cinnamon
Lunch: Salad with Chicken
Dinner: 4 Fish Tacos with Cilantro, Pico De Gallo, Chipotle Sauce, and Tapatio

Ended the evening with a severe migraine and productive nausea. 🙁 Dang. And those tacos were excellent. What a waste. :-\

Was it Worth the Wait?

I went to the Neck and Back Specialist to take x-rays because I am tired of having at least a dull headache and latent nausea every waking moment, as well as the inconvenient movement issues related to my back misalignment. 2 years ago, after I lost my 60 lbs with P90X and P90X2, I went in to see the same Neck and Back Specialist and had these x-rays taken.
IMAG0814IMAG0815
As you can see, there is no curvature in my neck and my back is crooked in a few spots. Its been like this since I was rear-ended on PacificCoastHighway back in 1997. Even after seeing these x-rays I opted to not go through the corrective therapy. I am going back tomorrow to see if it has gotten better or worse since my return to the fitness and triathlon world. Regardless, I will be opting for the corrective action this time 🙂 I can’t imagine what it is going to feel like to live with less nausea and pain!

Morning Weigh-in:  169
Breakfast: 2 – Activit, 2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra, and Chocolate Vegan Shakeology with Vanilla Whey and Cinnamon
Lunch: Chile Verde with Rice
Workout: Walking 2 Miles
Dinner: Fajitas, Ceviche, Chips and Salsa
Snack: Popcorn and 2 Dark Chocolate Sea Salted Caramels

Walking Wednesday followed by a Therapeutic Thursday Morning

Yesterday I was sore from Tuesday night’s race. I had a weird knee twinge which usually means something was tight and I didn’t stretch enough! Happy that it was Walking Wednesday and we were able to go have a Yummy Fajitas Adventure! The walking helped warm up the leg for sure, but it was the hour on the Rumbleroller and finding the hot spot at my left adductor that got rid of the twinge right away. I have been struggling with hip flexor, quadriceps, hamstring, gluteus, soleus, and calve flexibility lately. (Missing my weekly P90X Yoga) All of those muscles, and some others I have not mentioned, can attribute to knee pain. But just because something hurts doesn’t mean that I am injured right? Its if I continue to push those muscles without working on flexibility that ultimately leads to an injury. It was so awesome to feel the pain go away last night as I rolled my inner thigh on the Rumbleroller, it hurt like a son of a gun, but the result was so worth it! I am sure I’ll be revisiting the Rumbleroller and stretching more this evening as well.

After staying up as long as I could last night to watch Fallon (my Tonight Show Vice) I finally had to turn off the TV and go to sleep. I confirmed that I would be joining some guys for a 6 AM ride. Yeah, 5 am came early. Hit the snooze button 2 times. Rolled out of bed. Filled the water bottle. Aired the tires. Oh yeah, got dressed. Headed out the door at a deliberately slow pace while drinking my E&E. Arrived 5 minutes late :-\ Sorry! Luckily Brock and Aaron are cool and waited for me. Mike got an early morning flat and couldn’t make it. So the three of us went off on our ride up around the Panorama Bluffs. On our way back we were moving but it didn’t seem like we were going that hard. I could tell my legs were searching for fuel. Aaron and Brock were putting in some strong pulls. We all rotated to the front, taking turns, to keep the momentum going. And it paid off! Each of us got a piece of the KOM when we were through.
Screen Shot 2014-05-22 at 11.39.29 AM
Great ride this morning and what a great way to get the blood flowing for the rest of the day!

Now I am starving! Bring on Lunch!

Triathlon Training Log

Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Morning Weigh-in:
 171
Breakfast: 3 – AcidCheck Caplets2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra2 –  Vector450, and Chocolate Shakeology
Lunch: BBQ Chicken Primo Salad and Water
Workout: Walking Wednesday
Dinner: Fajitas, Beans, Rice, Corn Tortillas, Ceviche, Chips, Salsa, Guacamole
Recovery: 1 Hour Rumbleroller 
Midnight Snack: Chocolate Shakeology with Almond Milk and an Organic Peanut Butter Sandwich (Calories for 6AM Ride)

Thursday, May 22, 2014
Morning Weigh-in: 174
Pre-Workout: Energy and Endurance Formula
Workout: Cycling 31.7 Miles added AcidCheck Granules and Pink Himalayan Salt to Water
Weigh-in: 171
Post-Workout: P90X Results & Recovery Formula
Breakfast: 3 – AcidCheck Caplets2 – Slimming Formula, 2 – Cordastra2 –  Vector450, and Chocolate Shakeology

Stay tuned for Saturday the 24th’s Post Time Trial Blog Entry!